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Comedy


[Comedy] hydroxy moron

One who preaches the miracle nature of hydroxychloroquine sulfate that has nothing to do with the business degree they hold or the virus they're trying to cure.

Donald Trump, the proud holder of a store-bought degree in business from Wharton School of Business, waded in to the COVIC-19 discussion by suggesting hydroxychloroquine sulfate might be a miracle intervention with absolutely no foundation, making him, in medical vernacular, earning the title "hydroxy moron".

Published:4/6/2020 2:04:15 AM
[Comedy] chonk

that which is fat or large, in a way that is majestic

"You have been visited by the chonk. He will bring good fortune."

Published:4/5/2020 2:29:02 AM
[Comedy] Social distancing zombies

In order to maintain a safe distance from others, people were conditioned to raise their arms in front of them. When everyone shuffled around with their arms raised in front of them, the advised level of social distancing was maintained. In lockdown, only a few social distancing zombies were out and about.

I took my handkerchief out to blow my nose and the social distancing zombies scattered.

Published:4/4/2020 2:22:47 AM
[Comedy] ‘Half-Life: Alyx’: The most exhilarating VR adventure game to date "Half Life: Alyx" will transport you to an incredibly vivid science fiction world. Published:4/3/2020 10:17:55 AM
[Comedy] @PhilanthropyGal The longer your happy anniversary caption is the worse I know things are going. Published:4/3/2020 3:44:27 AM
[Comedy] antisocial nearing

The opposite of social distancing.

In a pandemic when people ignore the advice of social distancing and instead engage in antisocial nearing activities like shaking hands, hugging, and spending time in large crowds.

That coughing, sniffling, lunatic went in for a full-on antisocial nearing hug when the CDC says we should be practicing social distancing.

The President of the United States for weeks encouraged antisocial-nearing, telling everyone not to worry because the pandemic was under control and might just disappear.

Published:4/3/2020 2:13:46 AM
[Comedy] Economic Stockholm Syndrome

The behavior and attitudes exhibited by victims of financial subjugation, causing then to identify with and even defend their oppressors.

Q: Hey, what's up with Matt? His Dad is on social security, his mom got laid off, his sister's kids get free school lunches, he collects federal financial aid for college, and he only makes minimum wage working at Walmarts. Yet he keeps talking about how we need to cut taxes for the wealthy and quit spending so much on social programs.
A: Yeah, he thinks he's going to be a millionaire soon. He's got Economic Stockholm Syndrome.

Published:4/2/2020 2:07:59 AM
[Comedy] @ginnyhogan_ My new sexual fantasy is a second person Published:4/1/2020 7:33:27 AM
[Comedy] late capitalism

The advanced stage of unmanaged capitalism in which corporations and the wealthy, having run out of quick and easy paths to profit and economic growth, begin cannibalizing the societies in which they operate instead of investing in them.

Features: Declining wages for workers, privatization of government, dismantling of social services, sale of cultural & national heritage, debtor's prisons, corporate invasion of people's personal lives, and punishment (and ultimately enslavement) of the poor.

A: Did you hear that Zuckerberg is tearing down the national park to build his new fortified megamansion?
B: Yeah dude, wanna go to the Pepsi™-sponsored protest against it later?
A: Truly, late capitalism is the best system to live under.

A: Did you know that boomers can now spend $8,000 to get transfusions of children's blood so they live longer?
B: Haha, late capitalism strikes again!

Published:4/1/2020 2:05:05 AM
[Comedy] Physical Distancing

Formerly known as social distancing. The act of connecting, caring, communicating, and socializing with others while keeping space between bodies and following the World Health Organization (WHO) guidelines for good health during the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic.

No, dude. I’m not gonna shake your hand, I’m practicing physical distancing. Please take a step back and give me a call later.

The term Physical Distancing was suggested by therapist and author Jennifer Hamady, in an article for Psychology Today on March 19, 2020. The World Health Organization then shifted to using the phrase physical distancing rather than social distancing.

Published:3/31/2020 2:38:03 AM
[Comedy] The New Yorker cover and political cartoons are saluting coronavirus responders as heroes Mike Luckovich's popular Iwo Jima cartoon is also celebrating those on the front lines of the fight against covid-19. Published:3/30/2020 2:53:34 PM
[Comedy] Coronalingus

Sex during the Coronavirus time of social distancing.

My fiancé and I are practicing social distancing by ordering take-out and engaging in coronalingus.

Published:3/30/2020 2:22:08 AM
[Comedy] Grim Milestone

A phrase commonly used by in the mainstream media to denote the quantity of an undesirable occurance reaching a multiple of ten.

Casualties in Iraq have reached a grim milestone - 10/100/1000 in the 10/100/1000 days since the overthrow of Saddam.

Published:3/29/2020 2:13:40 AM
[Comedy] MAGAts

Donald Trump loyalists

MAGAts will defend their hero Trump regardless of the damage it does to American democracy .

Published:3/28/2020 2:07:47 AM
[Comedy] @Kendragarden One thing I’ve learned so far in quarantine is that my husband refuses to microwave anything for 45 seconds, he always does 44. When I asked him why, he said, “For Obama.” Published:3/27/2020 7:13:04 PM
[Comedy] upperwear

Upperwear is the wardrobe you create when you work on line or on TV and are only 'seen' from the waist up.

During video calls and meetings she wore professional looking Upperwear, such as blazers with pearls, while at the same wearing jogging pants.

Published:3/27/2020 12:34:35 PM
[Comedy] ‘Steven Universe’ creator says farewell, knowing her show made young LGBTQ viewers feel seen Rebecca Sugar's hit series "Steven Universe" changed the Cartoon Network's policy on same-sex marriage in kids' shows. Published:3/27/2020 12:34:35 PM
[Comedy] Prepper

A person who is prepared, or striving to be prepared for incident, natural disaster, etc

A person actively preparing or being prepared for situations that may affect the stability of home, life, or financial situation.

Also known as survivalists, doomsday preppers (derogatory)

Jim and his wife have canned a lot of food this summer. They will be prepared this winter!

Carrie is a good prepper. She has a 72 hour bag for each of her family members.

Published:3/26/2020 5:18:23 PM
[Comedy] Say I won't

Verbally challenging back to your friends to give you added courage to do something that may be stupid or out of the norm.

Jim - "Man, you are not going to ask that fatty to dance are you?"

Bob - "Say I won't!"

Published:3/25/2020 2:20:22 AM
[Comedy] Stonks

A meme used to describe a retarded economic decision. It is commonly followed with a picture of Meme man standing behind a picture of a stock market with the caption "stonks".

Me: Trades 100 wood for 1 emerald

My friend: Stonks

Published:3/24/2020 2:13:28 AM
[Comedy] ’Doom Eternal’ is crushingly hard and blisteringly engaging “Doom Eternal” is a challenging, engaging shooter that caters to one’s predatorial impulses. It will keep you on your toes. Published:3/23/2020 10:09:16 AM
[Comedy] Covidiot

Relating to the 2020 Covid-19 virus:
Someone who ignores the warnings regarding public health or safety.
A person who hoards goods, denying them from their neighbors.

Did you see that covidiot with 300 rolls of toilet paper in his basket?
That covidiot is hugging everyone she sees.

Published:3/23/2020 2:39:38 AM
[Comedy] @chrissyteigen [scattered applause] is the saddest closed captioning on a comedy special Published:3/22/2020 9:32:25 AM
[Comedy] @AndrewChamings accidentally opened my eyes during prayer at church and saw jesus doing the worm Published:3/22/2020 9:02:35 AM
[Comedy] Coronic

A person who has contracted coronavirus.

Is Karen coming in today? Unfortunately not - she's coronic, I think she got coroned last week on the way to work.

Published:3/22/2020 2:32:19 AM
[Comedy] Hand Sanitizer

The most expensive thing during the corona virus

Damn that hand sanitizer is expensive

Published:3/21/2020 2:25:12 AM
[Comedy] @felicityward Hangman is a lovely childhood game where you slowly draw a man killing himself if another kid can’t read your mind. Published:3/20/2020 10:50:56 AM
[Comedy] Cockwomble

A completely useless person that spouts constant bullshit

That Andrew is such a Cockwomble

Published:3/20/2020 2:18:41 AM
[Comedy] the rona

the correct term for the Coronavirus

dangggg alyssa just got diagnosed with the rona

Published:3/19/2020 2:12:15 AM
[Comedy] How the world’s political artists are depicting the covid-19 pandemic Symbolism, face masks and the Grim Reaper abound. Published:3/18/2020 7:10:07 AM
[Comedy] coronacopia

The growing volume of people and places that can give you the corona virus. Handshakes, desk surfaces, door handles, sneezes...

On the way home from {work} today I had to avoid a whole coronacopia of disease... does my forehead feel warm to you?

Published:3/18/2020 2:14:10 AM
[Comedy] Beer bug

Corona virus, a disease originating in China which shares the same name as a shitty Mexican beer.

Chad caught the beer bug so has to self-isolate for 14 days at home.

Published:3/17/2020 2:08:42 AM
[Comedy] @MavenofHonor A hundred years ago instead of reading this you would’ve been lying in a feather bed hoping no one discovers the hillside where you pick wild strawberries Published:3/16/2020 8:55:58 AM
[Comedy] coronaphobia

The fear of catching the current strain (COVID-19 in March 2020) of human coronavirus, expressed by wearing a face mask in public, or simply avoiding public places, public events and public transport.

Wow, we've lost half the audience to the show tonight due to coronaphobia

Published:3/16/2020 2:25:15 AM
[Comedy] Down in the Trumps

The feeling of depression and sense of impending doom that sweeps through a person when they think about how Donald Trump is fucking up the world.

Nick has been Down in the Trumps ever since he watched that documentary about Donald Trump on TV.

Published:3/15/2020 2:17:35 AM
[Comedy] Maralagovirus

A common name for COVID-19 or CoronaVirus

Did you hear Jeremy died from Maralagovirus?

Don’t touch me, you’re going to give me Maralago!!!

Ma’am, you’ve tested positive for COVID-19, or Maralagovirus. You have 10 minutes to live.

Published:3/14/2020 2:10:46 AM
[Comedy] @rzrbldee thinking bout how in like 50 years there’s gonna be a generation of little old ladies with ‘goth slut’ or something tattooed on their knees Published:3/13/2020 4:06:14 AM
[Comedy] Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

Published:3/13/2020 2:37:11 AM
[Comedy] ‘Bloodshot’ works, if only for the cinematic universe it has the potential to create Vin Diesel stars as Bloodshot as Valiant Comics finally makes it to the big screen. Published:3/12/2020 11:00:22 AM
[Comedy] @indyfromspace You can’t call it “pandemic” unless it’s from the Pandemic region of France, otherwise it’s just Sparkling Flu Published:3/12/2020 3:29:32 AM
[Comedy] coronapocalypse

End of the world via corona virus

The coronapocalypse will end all of us.

Published:3/12/2020 2:58:16 AM
[Comedy] @markydoodoo The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater. Published:3/11/2020 10:27:05 AM
[Comedy] elbump

noun - A bumping of the elbows of two bros. A superior alternative to high-fives and fist bumps, especially when one bro's hands are full.

Steve: Rob!
Rob: Hey bro.
Steve: Elbump?
Rob: Elbump!
Steve: Awesomeness!

Published:3/11/2020 4:24:20 AM
[Comedy] you so fluke

being whack, full of shit, fake

you so fluke man.

Published:3/10/2020 2:16:12 AM
[Comedy] folx

An alternate spelling of the noun "folks," first used in 2001 and popularized by tumblr in 2016. Mainstream and academic use is growing after adoption of the term by LGBTQ+ people, especially LGBTQ+ persons of color.

Use of the "X" emphasizes the existence of binary gender systems (especially in indigenous communities) and suggests support of and solidarity with people who are oppressed and/or marginalized.

Increasing protection for the most vulnerable folx in our society increases protection for us all.

Published:3/9/2020 2:16:32 AM
[Comedy] Awkward Turkey

The result when one person tries to give another a high-5, but the other person tries to give a fist bump. Once these two hand gestures meet, they form a turkey at a really awkward moment.

person 1: "Dude, we just made an awkward turkey!"
person 2: "Well, this is awkward."

Published:3/8/2020 5:07:08 AM
[Comedy] toady

One who flatters in the hope of gaining favors.

"M often acts like a complete toady, commenting J on her taste, her babely features, and her mind in the hopes that she will one day bear his hapa."

Published:3/7/2020 2:28:54 AM
[Comedy] Night water

The water you drink when you wake up in the middle of the night that tastes like it came from a mountain spring blessed by God himself.

“Dude, that night water really hits different when you’re thirsty at 2am.”

Published:3/6/2020 2:22:38 AM
[Comedy] The Longing: Patience (and lots of it) is required, but it’s worth every minute Every so often a game like this comes along that is so audacious it reminds us of how conventional and pedestrian many of the games are by comparison. Published:3/5/2020 1:52:39 PM
[Comedy] Pixar movies keep asking big questions about the afterlife — using Chris Pratt and khaki pants "Onward" and "Soul" deal with the eternal and the ethereal. Published:3/5/2020 5:49:41 AM
[Comedy] dip up

A common phrase native to eastern Idaho and surrounding regions used to inform others that food is ready to be served and eaten.

Everyone come into the kitchen and dip up the lasagna I made for dinner.

Published:3/5/2020 2:17:56 AM
[Comedy] Woat

Worst Of All Time. Opposite of Goat meaning Greatest Of All Time

Dude, that party last night was so woat, the kegs were tapped after an hour

Published:3/4/2020 5:14:47 AM
[Comedy] ate that

did a great job; pulled it off well; had a lot of success with something. Used by teens in the projects of Queens, NY, and probably elsewhere in NYC.

You walk in with a new outfit and your friend says, "Damn, girl, you ate dat!" or, you get a 100% on a test and you say, "I ate that!"

Published:3/3/2020 2:15:20 AM
[Comedy] @aparnapkin nothing like being the first one on a conference call to show everyone who’s not boss Published:3/2/2020 5:01:58 PM
[Comedy] on the blade

A place or places where sex workers do business; in the business of sex work.

I would rather be on the blade than exploited in a minimum wage job.

Published:3/2/2020 2:28:37 AM
[Comedy] Brocrastinate

The action done by a bro when putting off work.

Bro #1: Dude did you do the History Summary Brah?

Bro #2: Nah man I was chillin, watched White Castle while jerking off and playing few pong rounds.

Bro #3: You are the Brocrastinate Master

Published:3/1/2020 2:22:46 AM
[Comedy] ground harness

The device used by Australians to prevent them from falling into the sun.

Ausie 1: Hey mate, your ground harness is getting loose
Asuie 2: Thanks mate, would have fallen into the sun without that

Published:2/29/2020 2:17:23 AM
[Comedy] New Yorker cover shows Trump with a mask over his eyes, to critique his coronavirus response A Newsday cartoon also uses the same satirical image. Published:2/28/2020 10:49:36 AM
[Comedy] Creepypasta

Essentially internet horror stories or a myth passed around other sites, to frighten readers and viewers. The word, "Creepypasta" comes from the term, " copypasta ". An internet slang term for a block of text that gets copied and pasted from website to website. Creepypastas are sometimes are supplemented with pictures, audio or video footage related to the story. Typically with gory, distorted or, otherwise, shocking content.

Suicidemouse.avi was the grandfather of all lost episodes. It showed Mickey Mouse walking down a endless street with random piano keys playing in the background. The video gets more distorted and music turns static. See for yourself.

Also, Sonic.exe is a very well known Creepypasta. There is even a clone of the game to download. Although it's it well done, the clone will never have the same fear factor as the story did.

Lastly, Slender Man was introduced in 2009 in the Something Awful forums. Slender Man was not well know untill 2012 when Mark Hadley released, "Slender:The Eight Pages".

Published:2/28/2020 2:11:18 AM
[Comedy] @Remember_Sarah The most unrealistic element of Jurassic Park is the part where an American theme parks investors become concerned after a single worker is killed Published:2/27/2020 2:09:52 PM
[Comedy] speaking cursive

when someone is so drunk and slurring their words, that if you wrote it down it wouldn't be in print it would be in cursive writing.

Last night Joe was so drunk, i couldn't understand him. It was like he was speaking cursive.

Published:2/27/2020 3:35:12 AM
[Comedy] @pattymo Mr. Peanut is in Hell. He spent decades as the smiling face of a company that sold the boiled and roasted corpses of his people as a snack Published:2/26/2020 8:06:30 PM
[Comedy] Cushioning

A dating technique where along with your main piece you also have several 'cushions', other people you'll chat and flirt with to cushion the potential blow of your main break-up and not leave you alone.

"Yeah, I don't think it's going that well with Dave. Luckily I've been cushioning him with Pablo and Gary"

Published:2/26/2020 2:28:21 AM
[Comedy] Cosbiesque

Cos•bi•esque
Predators behaving as if they are old, fragile, wholesome or feeble so as not to be held accountable for their actions.

Harvey Weinstein crawled into the courthouse very cosbiesque with a walker and orthopedic shoes but we all know that monster is vying for sympathy.

Published:2/25/2020 2:24:01 AM
[Comedy] deadass

equivalent to saying: for real; im serious; telling the truth.

peep 1: you robbed his bike? ...naahhh..
peep 2:im dead ass.

Published:2/24/2020 2:15:38 AM
[Comedy] Nevuary

The date used for something that will never happen

I'll be sure to get that report done... by Nevuary.

Published:2/23/2020 2:09:36 AM
[Comedy] girth certificate

Another term for the condom that you keep in your wallet.
(Like how a birth certificate proves your birth, a condom can prove your girth)

My friend not only keeps a copy of his birth certificate in his wallet, but he also carrys a girth certificate with him at all times...just in case.

Published:2/22/2020 1:50:42 PM
[Comedy] Baby Yoda toys are finally arriving. Sure, they missed the holidays — but at least that prevented spoilers. Products for the popular character from the Disney Plus hit "The Mandalorian" are about to hit stores. Published:2/22/2020 1:50:42 PM
[Comedy] @fingerbIaster All I want for my birthday is for a wealthy benefactor to bequeath me a sprawling Victorian mansion with a dark and terrible secret Published:2/21/2020 9:29:13 PM
[Comedy] Loomster

the one mutant french fry that's freakishly long in comparison to all the other fries in the bag

McDonalds has the worlds longest loomster

Published:2/21/2020 9:29:12 PM
[Comedy] @SCOR_PINKO After ya third sneeze, that’s between you and GOD. I done did all I could do Published:2/20/2020 10:01:51 AM
[Comedy] cleaning

(v) The act of shoving everything in a closet and calling it decent.

"I'm cleaning my closet."
"Where are you shoving all your stuff then?"
"My room."
"Ah."

Published:2/20/2020 2:21:40 AM
[Comedy] @AlannaBennett Just saw a thing about how they had to give Blake Lively prosthetic eye bags in The Rythm Section because hers weren’t pronounced enough & I’ve never related to something less Published:2/19/2020 11:49:52 PM
[Comedy] aLtErNaTiNg CaPs

The texting way of being sarcastic. Google "Spongebob Sarcasm Meme" for an example.

Idiot on the internet: Why is everyone typing in alternating caps.
Internet: WhY Is eVeRyOnE TyPiNg iN AlTeRnAtInG CaPs.

Published:2/19/2020 2:14:58 AM
[Comedy] Pluto'd

Verb: Downgraded; demoted; dumped; No longer of significance.

My girlfriend pluto'd me.

Yarggh, Pluto was unfairly pluto'd from the solar system by a group of stupid astronomers.

The Eagles were right to have pluto'd T.O.

Published:2/18/2020 2:10:20 AM
[Comedy] pearl clutcher

An uptight person, usually but not always female, usually but not always of conservative mores, who reacts with shock, feigned or otherwise, at other people's violations of decorum, propriety, morality, and so forth.

Someone got up at the PTA meeting and suggested the school hand out condoms to teenagers. The pearl clutchers in the audience nearly went into cardiac arrest.

Published:2/17/2020 2:11:52 AM
[Comedy] good yard

"Good yard" is an autocorrect version of a drunken/high "good night"

Night = Yard.

Don't ask me, ask Apple.

Cya tmrw, good yard

Published:2/16/2020 2:29:38 AM
[Comedy] coola boola

A phrase used to describe something that is great in the same manner as the use of the words cool, deadly, savage and super.

Mr D..."meet you for coffee at five?"
Ms C..."coola boola!"

Published:2/15/2020 2:22:46 AM
[Comedy] Alligator arms

When someone "pretends" to reach for the check at a meal with friends but always get to it a little to late.

Or when the bill sits in the middle of the table and nobody reaches for it.

"I'll get it, all of you guys have alligator arms"

Published:2/13/2020 4:14:29 AM
[Comedy] @LittleMissAngr1 [Cranking up the heat on my slow cooker] Me: slow cook it faster Published:2/12/2020 12:12:02 PM
[Comedy] The Mierdas Touch

The ability to turn everything one touches to shit.

The phrase is a mash up of the King Midas myth of being cursed that everything he touched turned to gold and mierdas, which is the spanish word for shit.

There is some controversy as to whether the object touched was already a piece of shit with an exceedingly thin veneer of gold plating, where the Mierdas Touch serves only to reveal the subject's true nature versus the Mierdas Touch actually turning any object into shit, even if it was previously unblemished.

The doctor was beloved by all until he was touched the Mierdas Touch, wherein, it came to light that the doctor was constantly drunk, mis-prescribed drugs, and belittled underlings.

Published:2/12/2020 2:05:26 AM
[Comedy] Harley Quinn’s flailing ‘Birds of Prey’ suddenly changes its title The film grossed only $33 million in its domestic debut. Published:2/11/2020 1:00:35 PM
[Comedy] owo

Basic info:
owo is an emoticon used in chat rooms similar to o.o but the 'w' Is supposed to make it cute.

What does it mean?
owo means, a blank stare, but in a cute way.

Other similar emote(s).
OwO o.o

Nerd: (says to class snake, Sam,) Another way of writing 1,000,000 is 1x10^6

Sam The Snake: owo

Published:2/11/2020 2:01:13 AM
[Comedy] Heart Horny

Horny for love, not really for sex, just for someone to cuddle with and love you unconditionally. a feeling that occurs when you a haven't been in a relationship/haven't been in one for awhile.

"idk, just felt really heart horny yesterday."
"wdym?"
"just, wanted to have someone, idk."

Published:2/10/2020 2:23:43 AM
[Comedy] Twatching

Twatching — the act of experiencing an ongoing television show or event via live twitter monitoring, while avoiding the actual show or event.

People often engage in twatching when viewing a televised event — an award show, a debate, a congressional hearing, a sporting event or breaking news, for example — is too boring, irritating, upsetting or excruciating to watch live, so they choose, instead, to experience it in real time by following the hashtags and live tweeting of others.

Some people swear that twatching is often a better experience than watching.

“No, I’m not going to watch the Academy Awards, because when they’re not boring me with their cheesy numbers, they’re pissing me off with their criminally idiotic Oscar choices. But I’ll be twatching every minute, from the red carpet on.”

Published:2/9/2020 4:51:38 AM
[Comedy] armchairing

Talking about or doing something with little knowledge of it, or not actually doing anything and having other people or objects do it on your behalf.

QA Engineers are really just armchairing all day.

Published:2/8/2020 2:19:07 AM
[Comedy] ‘Birds of Prey’ is no ‘Harley Quinn’ animated series, but it maintains DC’s winning streak at the movies Margot Robbie is back, with no Joker in sight. Published:2/7/2020 6:03:57 AM
[Comedy] ‘Arise: A Simple Story’ is a game of symbolism and the stages of life “Arise: A Simple Story” coasts on its gentle visual language, but is a good option for those looking for a family-friendly game. Published:2/6/2020 4:00:05 PM
[Comedy] @VisionBored1 Pringles chips tubes need to be more like push pops we have the technology Published:2/6/2020 6:35:50 AM
[Comedy] bop

used to reference a good song; to say that a song is really good

Situation 1: SHINee's 'View' is such a bop
Situation 2: EXO's song 'Artificial Love' from their new album EX'ACT is a bop!

Published:2/6/2020 2:30:37 AM
[Comedy] Cathy Yan’s rapid rise from journalist to ‘Birds of Prey’ director: ‘I didn’t think you could do this professionally’ Yan guided Margot Robbie's return to her character Harley Quinn, and is the first woman of Asian descent to direct a major Hollywood superhero movie. Published:2/5/2020 11:58:11 PM
[Comedy] LARPer

Live
Action
Role
Player

One who dresses like a character from a video game usually and acts different scenes out.

"Hey, why is that guy dressed up and talking like Link?"
"Oh, that's Seth, he's a LARPer"

Published:2/5/2020 6:53:55 AM
[Comedy] outrage fatigue

noun. outrage fatigue. the exhaustion and entropy that occurs from too much outrage. Occurs in waves, often during peak election cycles. Outrage fatigue tends to afflict politically active people, and can be worse when your party is not in power, or has a power deficit. It escalates during environmental catastrophes, especially ones that are caused by human negligence. It also develops during troublesome economic times like corporate bailouts and high unemployment. Outrage fatigue may threaten close friendships.

After the week of union protests in Madison, I'm finished. I have serious "outrage fatigue".

When I heard about the latest military intervention in Libya, I was stunned by my apathy,lack of concern and disinterest. This is my worst ever episode of "outrage fatigue".

Published:2/3/2020 10:01:58 AM
[Comedy] @Browtweaten The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll Published:2/2/2020 9:02:14 PM
[Comedy] handegg

American football. As opposed to football/soccer, where players actually kick a ball with their feet, american football involves players carrying an egg-shaped object in their hands.

"Did you see the Steelers beat the Cardinals in the Super Bowl? What an excellent game of handegg."

Published:2/2/2020 9:02:14 PM
[Comedy] hygge

A Danish word (pronounced HU-guh) meaning social coziness. I.e. the feeling of a good social atmosphere.

This kickback is hygge.

Published:2/1/2020 4:30:18 AM
[Comedy] Lfg

Let's fucking go

Lfg bitches

Published:1/31/2020 2:21:58 AM
[Comedy] marry the ketchups

It's where you pour a half full bottle of ketchup into another half full bottle so you have one full bottle

Um, I wanted to get here early to marry the ketchups.

Published:1/30/2020 7:30:46 PM
[Comedy] The VR experience in ‘The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners’ prevents it from being just a zombie cliche It's difficult to count the number of video games in which someone is standing around a corner clutching a weapon and waiting for their mortal enemy to pass. But until recently it wasn't possible to physically experience that scenario. Published:1/30/2020 7:30:45 PM
[Comedy] Kobe!

What everyone yells when they shoot a fadeaway jumpshot with a paper ball into the garbage can.

*dribble*
*pump fake*
"KOBE!"
*fadeaway jumper*
*brick*

Published:1/29/2020 5:07:58 PM
[Comedy] Five things we’d like to see in a revamped Obi-Wan Kenobi series on Disney Plus The Force was reportedly not with the original scripts of the anticipated show. Published:1/29/2020 5:07:58 PM
[Comedy] state raised

Term used to describe an individual who spent the greater part of their childhood in some form of government funded situation (Foster care/Welfare/Juvenile Detention Centers) and as an adult in prison and/or jail adjusts to their plight shockingly easy often seeming to thrive whilst incarcerated . Usually, but not necessarily used as an insult.

Hey man you see that dude eatin' everybody green beans in the chow hall?

Shit... I saw That State raised motherfucker eating straight out the garbage last week.
................................................................

You think Ray Ray said anything to the Guards about us gambling?

Naw Ray Ray been in & out since we was kids he's state raised fo real, ain't no snitch in em

Published:1/28/2020 2:34:53 AM
[Comedy] BTO

Bathroom Time Off - Similar to PTO (Personal Time Off), one can easily achieve 40 hours of additional vacation time by taking a daily 9.23 minute dump at work. Executive types and employees with seniority can often increase their BTO up to 60 hours/year by extending their bathroom sessions out to 13.85 minutes.

Damn! I've got to level 168 on Candy Crush this year just on BTO alone.

I took so much BTO this morning that my legs went numb!

Thank god the company WiFi reaches the bathroom or I would've use $30 bucks in data while taking BTO this week.

Published:1/27/2020 2:27:45 AM
[Comedy] @alyssalimp The suburbs are powerful. No matter how strong you think you are, by day two you’re eating dinner at 4 and asking what the weather’s looking like tomorrow Published:1/26/2020 8:56:49 PM
[Comedy] doge

A very popular meme of a Shiba Inu dog with a strange look on his face. It went viral all over the internet. Now Doge is a dog meme. Most pictures of Doge are accompanied by words, usually the following: so, very, wow, much, such, and many.

Wow. Such Doge.

Published:1/26/2020 2:22:08 AM
[Comedy] @marybethbarone I know everything about my best friends’ lives like every single detail except what they do for work Published:1/25/2020 10:20:55 PM
[Comedy] Take him out

To eleminate someone. To kill him. To remove someone from a situation.

"Osama bin Laden is a menace. We will take him out." President George W Bush.

Published:1/25/2020 2:17:05 AM
[Comedy] Dense Cabbage

Used as an insult to idiots or people who stand up for a specific idiot.

p1 stands up for somebody spamming

p1: this dude is totally not spamming.
p2: you dense cabbage-

Published:1/24/2020 2:10:34 AM
[Comedy] wink wink nudge nudge

Expression used to make someone realize an ulterior motive to your conversation.

"I am so hungry. I wish someone would let me have a bite of his candy bar...wink wink nudge nudge"

Published:1/23/2020 2:34:45 AM
[Comedy] soft hours

Between the hours of 2-3:30 in the AM where you become a mushy loving, uncontrollable mess. Where you say sentimental things you regret/ deny saying later that same morning.

Guy 1: Bruh, do you know what time it is?
Guy 2: Nah bruh.
Guy 1 (with tissues and tears runnin down his face): its them soft hours.
Guy 2 (now cryin and hugging Guy 1): fuck bruh i love you so much you are my rock my everything my world i couldnt live without you.

In the morning:

Guy 2: we never speak of this again.

Published:1/22/2020 2:27:25 AM
[Comedy] ‘A Short Hike’: A pleasant break from the winter doldrums 'A Short Hike" is a good example of how a familiar video game form can be made into something more quiet and unhurried. Published:1/21/2020 11:52:57 AM
[Comedy] stoned pony

High horse. Conceited, snobbish. Acting as if you're better than everyone else.

Get off your stoned pony, Cassidy. Getting free drinks from Lazy-Eye Larry behind the bar isn't something to brag about...

Published:1/21/2020 6:37:00 AM
[Comedy] @robfromonline crazy how before dating apps the only way to meet someone was to bump headfirst into them while carrying a huge stack of important papers Published:1/19/2020 6:47:27 PM
[Comedy] Drip

When your bling is iced out but that shit melting from all your hot bars, you got the drip.

Just another word for immense swag.

Guy 1:"Yo, that new rapper got the drip."
Guy 2: "For real yo, he drippin."

Published:1/19/2020 2:12:43 AM
[Comedy] plant mom

mother of plants. someone who owns a significant number of plants and care for them deeply, these plants are usually kept inside to be close to their surrogate mother.

person 1: 'that person sure likes plants'
person 2:'yeh . she's a plant mom'

Published:1/18/2020 2:12:17 AM
[Comedy] Mad Oh

(Originating from the streets of Lagos, Nigeria) An expression of surprise, shock or astonishment often caused by something unexpected or mind blowing. It can be used as an adjective in some cases.

Mad oh is very dynamic hence, it is also a valid /sarcastic reply to any statement whatsoever. In cases where you are tired of a conversation, mad oh will do a lot of good because of its conversation terminating abilities.

You got A in that test? Mad Oh!

This movie is gonna be Mad Oh!

Boy: I think I'm in love with you
Girl: Mad Oh!

Published:1/17/2020 2:01:55 AM
[Comedy] @louvregguk normal person: 9+7=16 me: if 10+7 is 17 and 9 is one less than 10 then 9+7 must be 16 Published:1/16/2020 11:13:16 AM
[Comedy] celebrity hall pass

Permission given by your significant other to go on a date/sleep with a particular celebrity.

Girl: When I met Zac Efron and he asked me out, I was so glad he was my celebrity hall pass!

Girl 2: No way, your husband said it was okay?!
Girl: Yeah, he said if I ever got the chance, I could sleep with him!

Published:1/16/2020 2:21:01 AM
[Comedy] Published:1/15/2020 10:20:01 AM
[Comedy] Scumbro

An evolution of normcore. The scumbro is a hypebeast who wears streetwear brands like Supreme and Adidas but also Vermont mom brands like REI and Patagonia...and may even sneak in some Gucci. The word, or at least this definition, was most likely coined by Vanity Fair's Kenzie Briant in the article "Pete Davidson and the Rise of the Sumbro" in July 2018. As Briant explains, the scumbro's look is ALMOST ironic and looks dumpster-dive cheap but is actually expensive and very intentional. The world has been populated by scumbros at the hands of designers like Demna Gvasalia and Virgil Abloh. Classic Scumbros include Shia Labeouf, Pete Davidson, Justin Bieber, and Jonah Hill.

Pete Davidson is wearing Crocs with a Supreme sweatshirt again. What a scumbro.

Published:1/15/2020 2:15:12 AM
[Comedy] heebie jeebies

A feeling of minor fright, anxiety, nervousness, apprehension, "the willies", phobic

That spider crawling on my neck gave me the heebie jeebies

Published:1/14/2020 2:10:03 AM
[Comedy] @saaamscottt6 almost 22 years ago 2 people had sex and now i have to go to work everyday Published:1/13/2020 9:37:06 PM
[Comedy] ‘Joker,’ explained: How the movie went from divisive debut to Oscars darling The Joaquin Phoenix movie earned 11 Academy Award nominations Monday, distancing itself from the doubters. Published:1/13/2020 9:37:05 PM
[Comedy] gone hollywood

When a person who has "made it" decides its necessary to reject his/her past because he/she is deemed "too good" for it now.

Usually characterized by trading in old friends for new friends, even though your old friends were always there for you before you made it big, distancing yourself from your roots, and turning into a conceited douchebag.

Ever since my best friend made it to the NFL he has gone hollywood, he changed his phone number and I haven't talked to him in nearly 6 months.

Published:1/13/2020 5:20:46 AM
[Comedy] Zoomer

Refers to members of Generation Z and is a play on the term "Boomer," which refers to members of the Baby Boomer generation. The term Zoomer is also in reference to the fast-paced upbringings members of Generation Z are characterized to have due to the fast advances in technology and culture that has been happening around them as a result of the interconnectivity of the American and Global populations because of the ubiquity of internet-connected smart phones and social media.

"I can't stand those Zoomers, all they do is use their phones all day to play Fortnite and watch TikTok videos!"

Published:1/12/2020 11:41:11 AM
[Comedy] Chancla

The deadliest weapon known to a Latin kid; a flying slipper/ flip-flop.

My mom hit me with a chancla.

Published:1/11/2020 7:45:56 PM
[Comedy] @AbbyHasIssues Things I thought I would have as an adult: a thriving career, an amazing social life, an impressive retirement account. Things I actually have as an adult: a plastic bag filled with plastic bags, a favorite spatula, crippling anxiety. Published:1/11/2020 12:56:51 AM
[Comedy] well actually

The battle cry of the mansplainer. See also: "to be fair" and "not all"

Well actually, to be fair, not all men do that.

Published:1/11/2020 12:56:51 AM
[Comedy] ‘Lonely Mountains: Downhill’: A tranquil and exhilarating ride The game is a beautiful marriage of aesthetics and gameplay. It has the makings of a minor classic. Published:1/11/2020 12:56:51 AM
[Comedy] @mintchocolatina why do essay conclusions exist, i said what i said scroll up !!!! Published:1/9/2020 4:11:56 PM
[Comedy] wag the dog

to cause a persuasive movement in any large body of influence, i.e., a mass of people, through means by which a lesser influence is utilized.

From the phrase, 'It's the tail that wags the dog.' This can be seen when a dog begins to wag it's tail, and it's body then follows.

in partisan politics, an unpopular party will wag the dog using a variety of provocative political manoeverings and machinations to undermine the public favour from the popular party, out of which a momentum can be borne.

Published:1/9/2020 2:10:22 AM
[Comedy] iykyk

If You Know You Know

Last nights party was crazy #iykyk

Published:1/8/2020 4:02:21 AM
[Comedy] @Lee_Carrie Can’t stand a Chipotle worker who gotta scream “extra chicken” down the line. How does it feel being the feds? Published:1/7/2020 9:24:04 PM
[Comedy] Scomo

A person in charge who leaves things to others when a difficult or emergency situation arises.

Shit was going really tits up at work this week so I Scomo’d off to a tropical island for some R&R and let someone else sort it out.

Published:1/7/2020 8:49:47 AM
[Comedy] Kahoot

A review game that American public school kids take way too goddamn seriously, despite that the review part is useless and everybody usually fails the test anyway.

We're doing Kahoot in class today, man. I gotta come up with some cool af nickname, and then I'll kick your ass.

Published:1/6/2020 2:25:25 AM
[Comedy] Vibe Check

A spontaneous and usually random time where someone checks your vibe. A vibe check should usually be a pleasant experience where the person being checked is vibin.

John: Hey Jack! Vibe Check
Jack: Gang Gang vro just chillin my guy!

Published:1/5/2020 2:13:17 AM
[Comedy] Ouf

The typical onomatopoeic reaction of boys when they unexpectedly run into the prettiest girl in school. The term originates from the manga/anime "Saiki Kusuo no Psi-nan" , where all the male characters (except Kusuo) would go "Ouf!" when face to face with female character Teruhashi Kokomi.

Ouf! Te...Terushashi ...san...!

Published:1/4/2020 2:42:59 AM
[Comedy] ‘Mosaic’: Terrible days at work, one after another A game that punctures a hole in the noxious ideology that work gives meaning to our lives. Published:1/3/2020 10:33:06 AM
[Comedy] Virtue Signalling

To take a conspicuous but essentially useless action ostensibly to support a good cause but actually to show off how much more moral you are than everybody else.

Fred: I see George has changed his profile picture to show his support for refugees.
Barbara: Has he donated money or time? Is he giving English lessons? Is he making a room available?
Fred: No, no, he's just virtue signalling.

Published:1/3/2020 2:31:09 AM
[Comedy] @joshgondelman 10pm at your parents’ house as an adult feels like 3am at your own apartment. Published:1/2/2020 7:57:29 AM
[Comedy] resolutionary

People who join a gym after the New Year, only to quit going within 3 months.

I couldn't find a free treadmill, the place was crawling with resolutionarys.

Published:1/1/2020 2:19:02 AM
[Comedy] Many Star Wars fans are upset the new movie sidelines Kelly Marie Tran’s character. The writer is trying to explain. Writer Chris Terrio has responded to the controversy in interviews, pointing to issues over cut scenes between Rose Tico (Tran) and Leia (Carrie Fisher). Published:12/31/2019 1:16:41 PM
[Comedy] hedgehog's dilemma

The phrase hedgehog's dilemma refers to the notion that:

(1) The closer two beings come to one another in a relationship, the more likely it might be for them to inflict psychological pain on each other
(2) Yet if they remain apart, they each might feel the roughly-equivalent (psychological) pain of loneliness.

This notion comes from the conjecture that hedgehogs, with sharp spines on their backs, might hurt each other if they get too close. It is a character trait believed to be possessed by some individuals, in real life as well as in works of fiction, sometimes causing anti-social behaviours, often allegedly caused by an unpleasant past experience of intimate relationships. A person who suffers from the hedgehog's dilemma will usually avoid becoming too close or involved with someone, due to fear of another similar, possibly painful, experience, such as they had experienced in the past.

Porcupines are a better example of the hedgehog's dilemma due to their commonly known dangerously sharp spines. As you can imagine, getting too close to them will provoke them and might force a few spines in you in self defense.

Published:12/31/2019 2:14:12 AM
[Comedy] @curlycomedy What if cheesecake tasted like nothing and was stuffed into a stale ice cream cone?? - the inventor of cannolis Published:12/30/2019 12:43:31 PM
[Comedy] It’s clipped

It’s clipped means that the situation being described is completely hopeless. it’s done, over, clipped.

“you still talking to Nick?”
“nahhh, he cheated. it’s clipped”

Published:12/30/2019 2:43:09 AM
[Comedy] yikers

An expression of shock, surprise or disgust. Derived from the word yikes It is the gen y way of expressing yikes

yikers u freaked me out

Published:12/29/2019 9:52:18 PM
[Comedy] shock site

A website used with the express purpose of startling the living crap out of anyone you link it to. Examples include tubgirl, lemonparty, and goatse.

Watch out for that link. It redirects to some shock site I've never seen before.

Published:12/28/2019 7:19:54 AM
[Comedy] run me my money

Run me my money means, give me my money now or else.

You late on your payments, run me my money {son}!

Published:12/27/2019 11:14:57 AM
[Comedy] @karencheee There’s always ONE crazy one in the bunch!!! (This tweet is about stovetop burners) Published:12/26/2019 5:08:20 AM
[Comedy] Browareness

bro-ware-ness

To impart personal knowledge of a situation to a fellow bro that should inform him to his benefit.

"Dude, I'd watch out for that chick. She was born with the psycho gene."

"No way, I had no idea. Thanks for the browareness, man..."

Published:12/26/2019 2:08:21 AM
[Comedy] Present Face

The face you make when you get a really terrible present but don't want to hurt anybodies feelings.

I could tell martha hated the chess set i got her, you could see that present face from a mile away.

Published:12/25/2019 2:30:56 AM
[Comedy] Why Keri Russell leaped at the chance to join J.J. Abrams’s ‘Rise of Skywalker’ The "Americans" actress dived into the change of place to play "hidden" spice smuggler Zorii Bliss. Published:12/24/2019 6:28:22 AM
[Comedy] powerbomb

A wrestling move in which one person lifts the other onto his shoulders, then slams him down on his back and neck.

Holy shit, he just powerbombed him through a table

Published:12/24/2019 2:27:30 AM
[Comedy] BAMF

Bad ass mother fucker

Man,Davis you are a BAMF and Martain you suck.

Published:12/23/2019 2:18:37 AM
[Comedy] @brainwxrms “high school sweethearts?” u mean u took each other’s virginity and stupidly went to the same college together so now u feel stuck and ur so terrified of change that you’ll never break up even though the love has been gone for years Published:12/22/2019 3:46:50 PM
[Comedy] wayament

Abbreviation for "Wait a Minuete"

When she saw his package she was like WAYAMENT it's that big

Published:12/22/2019 2:13:37 AM
[Comedy] impleggies

Another word for Implants.

Will. I. Am (Mir. I. Am in Ew music video): now Sally's gonna get impleggies.
Jimmy Fallon (Sara, in Ew music video): what are impleggies?
Will. I. Am: Implants, silly!

Published:12/21/2019 2:09:25 AM
[Comedy] How J.J. Abrams took on the ‘daunting’ task of wrapping up Star Wars Skywalker saga Seeing the first Star Wars in 1977 changed the director's life. He wants viewers to be similarly moved by "Rise of the Skywalker." Published:12/20/2019 5:31:50 AM
[Comedy] Baby Yoda

The reincarnation of Jesus. He flies around in a white chariot blessing pure memes to those who deserve it. He's also the literal fucking cutest thing in existence no cap.

"Tell me Chad, who died for our sins?"
"Baby Yoda."

Published:12/20/2019 2:01:26 AM
[Comedy] The secrets to creating an irresistible Star Wars creature, from Chewie to Baby Yoda As “The Rise of Skywalker” opens, here's a look back at how the series created so many memorable ones. Published:12/19/2019 5:27:13 AM
[Comedy] you're fired

Shows that your services are no longer required; the catch-phrase of Donald Trump from "The Apprentice."

Donald Trump wants to trademark this phrase; talk about slick marketing.

Published:12/19/2019 2:26:20 AM
[Comedy] Impeach the Motherfucker

The widely popular saying that is written on just one of the many anti-45 tee-shirts out there.

Walking into the tee-shirt outlet I said, “Impeach the Motherfucker” and was immediately directed to the busy section where these tee-shirts were located.

Published:12/18/2019 2:19:27 AM
[Comedy] @manster_mash I saw a girl post her Spotify top artists on her Instagram story with the caption “so accurate”. Like yeah it’s accurate... it’s literally data Published:12/17/2019 11:45:26 AM
[Comedy] brake check

While driving, hitting your brakes really hard to scare the crap out of the jerk driving two inches from your rear bumper.

Checking to make sure they have enough time to brake without rear-ending you (pissing them off).

This guy is driving way too close to my rear bumper, time to brake check him.

Published:12/17/2019 2:14:28 AM
[Comedy] ‘Watchmen’ was the boldest, blackest superhero story ever told on-screen. But what comes next? The black comics audience should be more demanding after seeing what the HBO series accomplished. Published:12/16/2019 4:49:51 PM
[Comedy] Band-me-down

a musical act once loved by you, now loved by your kid; a musical act once loved by your parent, now loved by you.

“My dad was thrilled to give me the band-me-down of LED Zepellin..”

Published:12/13/2019 2:19:11 AM
[Comedy] The lastest in a series notably attuned to human shortcomings, ’Life is Strange 2’ will stay with you for a while The game doesn’t celebrate winners but those who persevere and endure. Published:12/12/2019 10:45:02 AM
[Comedy] Thirst Trap

Any statement or picture used to intentionally create attention or "thirst"

Woman on Twitter: Who wants to come over and put me to sleep? (Thirst Trap)

Men on Twitter: Oh? Check Ur DMs

Published:12/12/2019 2:15:29 AM
[Comedy] puppy pile

A large pile of people of mixed sexes, cuddling and or heavy petting each other, usually with clothes on, but sometimes without. Not an orgy, usually done only by people who love and/or trust each other. Not always sexual, sometimes just a physical expression of love or endearment amongst multiple participants.

Originates from the carefree innocent love and romping play that puppies indulge in before they "know better."

So Sam and Lisa were in the corner cuddling when Sarah, Mike, John, and Tanya all joined in and it turned into a real puppy pile.

Published:12/11/2019 2:08:00 AM
[Comedy] @ohJuliatweets My dad is drinking a to-go cup of clam chowder while driving like it’s a latte I am horrified and folks I’m back in Massachusetts Published:12/10/2019 12:06:16 PM
[Comedy] Rest Easy

Rest in peace meaning gone to soon

Rest easy Speaker Knockerz gone to soon

Published:12/10/2019 2:32:10 AM
[Comedy] urban dictionaried it

What your mother did to find out what you meant.

I had to ask Jackie what FOMO meant.
I just urban dictionaried it.

Published:12/9/2019 2:27:22 AM
[Comedy] My boi

A great friend but you want to sound cool or you don't want to say his name. So you just yell that my boi, it also has become popular and many YouTubers have shirts that have that's my boi printed on it.

Guy 1: "That my boi "

Guy 2: "You already know"

"What that guy's name again," thinks guy 1

"His name is so long Iand hard to pronounce and I am never, trying to say it again," thinks guy 2.

Published:12/8/2019 2:22:01 AM
[Comedy] catstep

A recent sub-genre branch off of filthstep, with a more aggressive style and typically softer notes. People group some Monstercat songs into this genre, as there is "cat" in their name.

Have you heard that new catstep tune released a little while ago?

Published:12/7/2019 2:16:36 AM
[Comedy] How cartoonists are satirizing the Trump impeachment hearings to ‘keep us sane’ Pulitzer-winning cartoonists use humor to peer behind all the political posturing. Published:12/6/2019 9:40:07 AM
[Comedy] Coercion

A lame way to get people or a person to side with you hence, be their bitch.

Rich people tend to use coercion to change unknowing peoples opinion to be their friend. Actually all they are doing is using others.

Published:12/6/2019 2:08:08 AM
[Comedy] Bribe

Anything given or serving to persuade or induce.

Corporations are shelling out huge bribes to politicians in the form of 'campaign financing,' however, calling a bribe by any other name is still a bribe.

Published:12/5/2019 2:32:49 AM
[Comedy] Peen

1. Derivitive of the word penis.

There was an intoxicated man dancing on the train with no pants on, his peen was flopping around everywhere!

Published:12/4/2019 2:26:24 AM
[Comedy] Extra Large

The best size on ANYTHING. Bigger is better.

Extra Large is the best size imaginable. Bigger is better. If you have extra large clothing, you’re going to get a lot of attraction.

Published:12/3/2019 2:22:33 AM
[Comedy] @mimithemama a girl from my due date group on fb is having a c-section on december 25th and wants to name her daughter “krissmiss dae”... she asked for opinions or other holiday name ideas and i suggested noelle or ivy... and she replied “eh idk those are kinda w Published:12/2/2019 11:47:37 AM
[Comedy] cyber

sex online

i lost my virginity by cybering!

Published:12/2/2019 2:14:45 AM
[Comedy] @Eden_Eats Nothing makes me more drunk with millennial power than helping boomers turn off the flashlight on their phone. Published:11/26/2019 10:12:17 AM
[Comedy] dance on the blacktop

To get stabbed, shanked or to stab someone (mostly referred in prison).

Im about to dance on the blacktop.
That boy got danced on the blacktop.

Published:11/20/2019 2:03:17 AM
[Comedy] @CornOnTheGoblin [whispers to guy sitting next to me in church] are you gonna finish your body of christ Published:11/19/2019 6:29:11 AM
[Comedy] Buddyfucker

One who will do anything to further his own personal interests without regard for the impact his actions will have on the interests of his "friends" or colleagues. Buddyfuckers cannot be trusted to "do the right thing" and have no regard for abstract principles such as ethics or morals.
This title is used frequently in the U.S. Naval Aviation community. When speaking discreetly, Aviators may say "buddy is only half of a word."

I can't believe Brad tried to steal my job just so he could get a bonus; he is such a buddyfucker!

I can't believe Brad tried to steal my job just so he could get a bonus; to him, buddy is only half of a word.

Published:11/19/2019 2:27:01 AM
[Comedy] @leafyIeah millenials b like: terrible service. 5 stars and 20% tip so this idiot can pay their bills Published:11/18/2019 8:23:12 AM
[Comedy] dry season

As opposed to "wet season" Aperiod of sexual drought

No sex for quite some time.

Published:11/18/2019 2:21:42 AM
[Comedy] @holy_schnitt 10:30pm on friday night absolutely posted in bed with a candle lit I rly truly envy 14th century bitches who died long before they reached 23 I am so tired Published:11/17/2019 5:15:45 AM
[Comedy] Throuple

A threesome couple

Betty, Carol and and Carl were so in love, they are such a lovely throuple.

Published:11/17/2019 2:15:06 AM
[Comedy] How political cartoonists deal — and thrive — with live coverage of the impeachment hearings Pulitzer-winning editorial artists aim to find deadline satire in the televised inquiry. Published:11/14/2019 1:36:37 PM
[Comedy] ‘Far Sector’ introduces DC’s newest Green Lantern in an Afro-futuristic murder mystery Written by N.K. Jemisin and illustrated by Jamal Campbell, the comic book's superhero is breaking barriers in secret. Published:11/13/2019 4:50:36 PM
[Comedy] @Lisabug74 *smells jar of peanut butter like a wine connoisseur* Published:11/12/2019 5:16:49 AM
[Comedy] Do it for the vine

When someone has a sort of special talent or party trick, and you ask them to do it so you can capture it on camera.

Person 1: I can’t do it right now, man.
Person 2: Come on dude, do it for the vine!

Published:11/11/2019 2:40:18 AM
[Comedy] Dead that tune

To stop the constant chatting that makes no sense or lower your tone. It doesn’t have to relate to music.

You need to dead that tune

Published:11/10/2019 2:35:05 AM
[Comedy] Fathernal Twins

Two Children born in the same Year with the Same Father but Different Mothers.

Guy: Hey , I didn't know you had a twin.
Friend: Yea, we're Fathernal twins, we're born in

the same year with same Dad,

different Moms.
GUY: What, like on ya Father's Side!?
Friend: You could say that.....poppa was a playa!

Published:11/9/2019 4:01:52 PM
[Comedy] ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ showed us how to get along with people we don’t understand Dr. Seuss used only 50 words to write the book. Now it's an entire Netflix TV series. Published:11/9/2019 4:01:52 PM
[Comedy] 5 AM

A sign that it's time to go to bed. Goodnight.

Ah, jeez, 5 AM already? I'm outta here.

Published:11/8/2019 8:48:57 PM
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